Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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