Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
