my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Randomize
