You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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