New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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