I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
