just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
