You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
That accounts for only three of the penises
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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