I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
