really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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