I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize
