The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
