"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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