I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
