Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
