What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
