I hate your face
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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