why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
