I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
