Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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