i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
