if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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