i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
