It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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