This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
