i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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