Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
