apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
3pm strippers are depressing
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
