birth control should be required to get into college
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
