C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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