To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
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