Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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