P.S. I can't hear my feet
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
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