Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
