You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
