You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
soo... how was my night?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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