I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
