And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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