I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
