Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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