one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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