can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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