I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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