She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
