I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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