Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
