hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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