Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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