I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
