I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
