Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
