Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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