i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
