a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
