I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Are my feet made of real feet?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I pour the whiskey from now on
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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