when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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