You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
