Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
