do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize