A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
