ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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