In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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