Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
