My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
My dick has a subreddit
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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