True but thats because hes a fetus.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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