i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Randomize
