I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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