Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Randomize
