positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
