guys are not supposed to queef...right?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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