right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
