so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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